Golden Globes 2006

I have received 87 emails which all basically ask the same question - "Why haven't you given a Golden Globes review/update?"

The problem is, I was too wrapped up in the Globes to be blogging about them. I'm an accomplished actor first, a brutally honest movie reviewer second. I'm sure that most of you know about who won at the Golden Globes, but if you only knew what went on at the after party...

One interesting thing to not about the Globes is that it is one of a very few award functions where we actors can drink alcohol. Most of the fun goes on back stage, so very few people know what actually goes on. There I was drinking 30 year old scotch and chatting it up with the industry's hottest stars. It was great. I've still got the knack, the moxie, the brass, the BALLS if you will.

Anyway, here are the notable results from the 2006 Golden Globes:

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Brokeback Mountain

Best Director - Motion Picture
Ang Lee – Brokeback Mountain

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama
Felicity Huffman – Transamerica

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Capote

Best Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy
Walk The Line

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Reese Witherspoon – Walk The Line

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical Or Comedy
Joaquin Phoenix – Walk The Line

Best Performance by an Actress In A Supporting Role in a Motion PictureRachel Weisz – The Constant Gardener

Best Performance by an Actor In A Supporting Role in a Motion PictureGeorge Clooney – Syriana

Dark Water Review

I'm embarrassed to say that I actually watched this movie, but the broad that I was dating at the time always gets complements that she looks like Jennifer Connelly. I see no resemblance (she's 1/2 Asian), but I went ahead and let her bring over the DVD. I was already 4 Scotch's into it and thought what the heck. Let me just say, I've seen home movies that screen better than Dark Water. I would rather watch my Aunt Lucy's cruise trip video than see garbage like this. I've always said that, every bad scary movie starts with one bad decision made by the lead actor. Well, in this case, the bad choice was made by me.

King Kong Review

I was literally dragged to this movie by some of my high-power Hollywood friends. Now, I had little to no interest in any of these actor's body of work. Jack Black is barely an actor, and I don't see how he has become 'A' list. I have acted in more Oscar worthy movies, have power lunched with more major Hollywood execs, and have gallivanted with more 'B' list starlets than Jack Black could even dream of. If you ask me, the monkey/ape/gorilla/whatever should get the only award if King Kong receives any. It's pretty sad when a robotic monkey can out act your leading star.

On a side note, I bumped into Naomi Watts outside the Viper Room a few months back. Naomi looks like hell close up - my date was 2x the fox. I doubt that she will ever act with me, but I couldn't care less.

The Longest Yard Review

Peter Segal directs thisremake of the 1974 Burt Reynolds film. When Burt was running around with Loni, Sally, and all them other broads - that's when Hollywood was at it's best. A real man had the reigns of Hollwyood. Now we have a bunch of punks running around the city. Adam Sandler fails to not annoy the hell out of me. The guy has no 'moxie'. I can barely stand to see him on screen. I kept waiting for him to act like a baby, but instead he just acted like an idiot. If there was an idoit award for acting, well... I'll tell you one thing though, 19 year old busty asain waitresses love Sandler - I had to tell her to quiet her laughter as I retreived to my den with a tumbler of scotch.

The asian still calls.